I love that yoga is called a practice. The word practice implies ongoing work. It implies working toward something and every time I get on my mat I know that I have work to do. I am not being judged or timed. I am not even trying for perfection. I am listening to my body as it is on that day on my mat and deciding what my practice is going to look like. It looks different every time. What I get out of yoga is internal and external strength, mind and body connection, awareness and skills to bring off my mat.
Team sports are so very different. There is practice toward achieving some kind of perfect—a dismount, swing, lay up, or play on the field or court. There is judgment, quality control and comparisons. But this weekend I saw some life lessons learned from a swimmer that aligned a lot with yoga.
My son’s district swim meet was Sunday. Having only raced this year, he was nervous about a big event with many teams competing and many parents watching. Since the season’s September start, coach Christine said she would transform him from a recreational swimmer into a racer and the change is notable. Each swimmer was assigned three races with the choice to make changes. Two of the three events were races that my son felt comfortable with but the third event left him in a panic. With the choice of a challenging longer distance or another race in his comfort zone, my husband and I were pleasantly surprised that he chose the harder and more demanding event.
For the entire week preceding race day, I saw an inner fire begin to build, a desire to improve and practice harder than ever and pure fear troubling his mind. With some great motivational speeches given by his dad (and a pre-race viewing of Rocky), my son started to tackle his fear replacing thoughts of doubt with affirmations of success, creating visual reminders to psych himself up for the task at hand and music to clear his mind of negative thoughts. Come race day, he was still scared but ready to take on this meet.
It is easy as a parent to see your child suffering and want to remove that pain. According to Buddha, life is suffering. To remove the pain or suffering is ultimately a disservice to our children. Teaching our children how to manage suffering and how to overcome suffering equips them with the power to find ultimate happiness.
At the end of the day, my son was walking taller. He even had a bit of a swagger. He took on his fear and squashed it. He found calm and strength through the fright and doubt. He found inner strength through the physical act of swimming, he found the mind/body connection, he found skills that he will use through out his life and he found a way to happiness.
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February 14, 2011 at 5:26 pm
Michael
Jen didn’t mention it because she is of the “doesn’t matter how you do as long as you try your best” mentality (which isn’t wrong), but this proud dad has to point out that great son took his first ever first place in one of the events. I have had a s–t -eating grin on my face for 15 hours 😉
March 2, 2011 at 8:00 pm
Kitty
Congratulations, proud daddy! First, but not his last first place, I’m sure!! Keep on smiling, you have a good reason to be proud!
February 14, 2011 at 10:28 pm
Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson
As a competitive parent who wants her child to know how good it can feel to work hard and win, my son also competed in a competition this weekend. He had a different kind of challenge to face. On the strip, he fenced his butt off and did not lose a single match. As parents, we were mad psyched but trying to contain ourselves.
After two hours, boy comes over and says, “Explain how I have won every bout but I am now ranked #7?” Husband and I looked at each other and said, “Don’t ask us, ask the guy with the clipboard.” He did. He marched right up to his coach and, from our vantage point, he pointed at the clipboard and we saw the horrified look of several adults.
An error had been made. Someone had accidentally written down the wrong last name in the brackets and so his competitor, the kid he had beaten 8-3, moved ahead of him.
When the error was brought to his attention, my son was composed. But in the car, he was furious. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen anything close to the kind of fire you describe here. He wanted to win, and he was mad to have been prematurely stopped in his tracks. He did not have a hissy fit or cry. He understand it was an error made.
So he had to stand around and watch others place when he knew he could have gone further. Still, he did so with grace. Lots of lessons. And, as you said, lessons we take through life. (I’m guessing next time, he’ll check the clipboard.) 😉
Congrats to your son and his job well done. May he have many more successes!
But the greatest lesson for me was that he can handle anything that can come his way. And I think the greatest lesson for him was that he does, in fact, have the desire to win. Which, I think, rather surprised him.
March 2, 2011 at 7:58 pm
Kitty
Great post!! From a former competitive swimmer (through high school and college) and current yogini, I can completely understand the link between swimming and yoga. I absolutely loved reading your post and reliving the challenge yet personal strength found in competitive swimming. Thank you so very much for sharing!