I just caught this video and love it.
Being OK with being alone does not come naturally to most. To spend time with oneself you must learn to treat yourself with compassion and to stop the self-judgment that we pick up around middle school when the drive to be accepted by a group seems ingrained in our DNA.
Getting on the mat regularly helps remove those blocks that we inevitably put up long ago when we were feeling left out or when rejected by someone to whom we gave our heart. Layer by layer of damage is removed as we begin to listen to our bodies, change our story and find our internal quiet and strength through asana and breath.
Lululemon is well known for their positive quotes as much as for their great yoga clothes. “Do one thing a day that scares you” is one of their quotes that taunts me. The idea of eating dinner at a fine restaurant by myself fills me with great discomfort. I have never attempted going to the movie by myself even with the shield of darkness available to hide my alone-ness.
Andrea Dorfman’s poetic video makes me question my own issues with being alone in certain situations. I am tempted to drop the brick that holds the notion that alone means less or sad or strange. Maybe alone means freedom, power and possibility.
How do you feel about being alone?
Karmaspot's Blog 
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October 6, 2010 at 9:46 pm
Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson
I must be weird because I love being alone. Anyone who knows me knows I love people. They energize me, but they also wear me out. And everyone once in a while, I just love to be alone. In fact, I’m alone right now. No dog. No cat. No fish. No kid. No husband. Just me, myself and I. And I don’t feel guilty at all.
I have gone to movies alone (such a guilty pleasure), I have danced alone a lot (because I love to dance), and I have eaten alone in restaurants, and what I find is that I’m never alone for long. Someone always joins me or asks me to join them. Like the woman on the bench said, I have struck up conversations because I refuse to “hide behind my technology.” I just sit and watch and wait and listen. And eventually someone says something to me.
I’m a connector, so I love people. But even connectors need to disconnect once in a while.
October 15, 2010 at 3:58 pm
slipsofthetongue
Being alone terrifies me. I need to have company, even obliquely. As a child, I never did my homework in my bedroom. I always brought it downstairs to work on at the dining room or kitchen table, where at least one person was buzzing around near me.
Movies alone? Eating out alone? Terrifying.
Traveling alone? I must say that I enjoy this immensely. When I was 17 I took a trip to France alone. I was abroad for 7 weeks, and for 2 of those weeks, I was on my own completely. I think the outer stimulation and necessity of interaction in order to sight-see, or acquire food made it okay.
In general, though, I loathe nights alone at home when my husband is working.
October 15, 2010 at 6:26 pm
karmaspot
Thanks for your comments! Being more of an introvert than an extrovert, it surprises me how much I still need to have contact with people. I like time alone by choice. I can relish those moments when they don’t come too often. But eating out alone, when I’ve done so on trips, still feels strange to me.
October 23, 2010 at 12:23 am
Erin
I used to believe “the more the merrier!” But since having children I find myself craving alone time. Just an hour where no one needs or wants me: not my clients, my husband, my kids….
And in that alone time I like nothing more than reading a book or a magazine. Problem is, I have a hard time allowing myself to be present and not thinking about all the stuff I am not doing when taking that time to myself.
October 23, 2010 at 3:36 am
karmaspot
Since having kids, maybe even since getting married, finding moments of alone time is a luxury. When in grad school, I read the book The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. She instructed readers to take regular dates alone to replenish the creative well. At the time it definitely felt liberating. Now I too would have trouble squeezing in an couple of hours perusing the art gallery when laundry needs to get done, dinner made and the dog taken for a walk. Thanks for writing!
December 10, 2010 at 5:10 pm
kevin blumer
i think being alone takes a lot of practice and i think the more you do it the better you get at it im alone quite a bit of the time with bpd we fear of being alone but i starting to live with it and enjoy it theres a lot of thing you can do when your alone and you can be happy
December 10, 2010 at 6:44 pm
karmaspot
I agree with you that being alone takes practice and think that once you find the comfort in being alone a whole new world opens up to you. I think some of the discomfort of being alone is in the thought that people are judging you. Once you let go of judgment, being alone can be freeing.