I saw the movie Bully this weekend. It was very tough to watch. I left the movie feeling frustrated as I didn’t feel the movie’s conclusion left the audience with a great deal of hope.
The next day I got onto my mat and practiced and I didn’t think about the movie. I moved and breathed and I listened to the messages of tuning in and being present shared by my teacher. Soon after, I realized that yoga is part of the solution. The yogic principle of Ahimsa, compassion or doing no harm, teaches us that we must first find compassion for ourselves before we spread that compassion to those around us. As I am about to embark on teaching middle school aged girls to find their power and to find their voice, it occurred to me that underneath all of that is teaching them how to treat themselves with compassion. At a certain age self-judgement begins to increase as fitting in with the group begins to take priority. Judging oneself becomes judging others. Being untrue to our authentic self becomes not respecting differences in others. Talking about our different bodies and our different strengths and weaknesses, demonstrating that we practice yoga to accept how our bodies and minds are different every time we get on the mat and sharing that these differences are OK, that these differences are what make us unique and special and powerful happen so naturally on the mat. I don’t know where else this message of self-acceptance occurs in a child’s life. When is the message that you are perfect just the way you are taught outside of the home? Even within the home most of us expect our children to get great grades, excel in sports and have many friends—we expect our kids to fit in a box of “the typical child”.
Until kids accept their differences, they won’t accept others. Until kids realize that happiness lies not with fitting in but with tuning in and self-love, there will always be judgement and cruelty.
The blog Pigtail Pals reminds us that we start life believing that we are awesome. We need to find ways to keep that belief alive. And for those who sadly start life with a different message, through the practice of yoga they too can find peace, self-acceptance and self-compassion. Spreading compassion will remove the problem of bullying. I believe that yoga is key.
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April 25, 2012 at 6:14 pm
Renée A. Schuls-Jacobson
“Until kids accept their differences, they won’t accept others.”
How weird that we were JUST talking about this. I so want to see this movie. I cried when I saw the trailer.
I would just say that parents sometimes inadvertently send the message that they don’t accept their kids “as is.” And so kids reproduce this stuff with their peers. So really, IMHO, it always come back to us as adults. We have to be mindful of what we say in front of our children. We might say, “Good job on that paper. Why are you wearing that shirt?” When we string together these two thoughts, the negative outweighs the positive, and the unintentional criticism can sting. A child who is criticized may look for a place to leave that hurt, and it is often heaped upon peers who – ironically – are sort of the physical manifestation of how they feel inside.
I do believe yoga is key. I wish they were teaching yoga in school instead of dodgeball.
April 25, 2012 at 6:37 pm
karmaspot
It is not easy being a parent. We project our desires and fears onto our children inadvertently. We criticize (like in your example) in the attempt to protect our kids from those same criticisms from their peers. I think the key is to encourage kids to understand their feelings. To know these feelings will change. To teach them to sit with feelings whether good or bad before reacting in order to make better choices. Practicing yoga teaches us to look inside for strength and answers. It teaches us to breathe through discomfort and when we’ve practiced that on the mat, we can then take it off the mat into our lives. That is where yoga makes a difference.
April 26, 2012 at 10:06 pm
childlightyoga
Beautifully said Jennifer! Sharing. The girls group you will be leading are incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful teacher.
May 22, 2012 at 12:39 am
candaceg222
I have nominated you for the Beautiful Blogger Award. Should you wish to accept, please go to my site and follow the instructions. Congratulations!
July 3, 2012 at 12:48 am
karmaspot
Thank you so much for this nomination. I haven’t had time to think about who I would nominate and found the idea very daunting. But after finally going to your sight and reading your exceptional poetry, I am feeling honored and compelled to move this Blog Award forward. Thank you so much for your words they resonate and heal.